The Black (Tie) Death
Why you should join the revolt against ‘Big Wedding’ rental suits and invest in your own Tuxedo
If you're a younger man who maintains a circle of friends, you’ve probably been or will soon be in a wedding party. This is the context in which most men first encounter the fabled tuxedo. I don’t mean to imply that every wedding is black-tie, as many are ‘cocktail attire’ or otherwise done in regular old day suits. Those are not so much the target of this polemic.
I am targeting weddings which call for tuxedos but do gross injustice to the black-tie dress code and the men asked to pay for such sub-par suits. You have an opportunity here to change the culture while gaining what will surely become your most beloved garment by buying your own. You need to buy a tuxedo to save money and look your best.
If you attend a black-tie wedding without foresight, you will taste the bitter pill that is tuxedo renting. You will be or have already been asked to spend hundreds on a one-night stand with an ill-fitting polyester blend rental suit. This practice is usually rationalized as follows: “Nobody owns a tuxedo, so we must rent them” and/or “We must all match for the wedding!”.
To the first, I say that every man should own his own tuxedo, especially if attending formal events even once per year. The ROI is simple; it is an investment that will pay off in 3 wears or less. You can pay $1,200 once to look like James Bond any time rather than paying $250 five times to look like various hotel waiters and rom-com extras. If you’re spending up to $1,000, spend it on clothing that fits and lives in your closet instead of handing that cash to a rental company.
I called in some expert testimony to support this claim. Renzo Agcaoili is a Style Expert at SuitSupply Chicago, IL. After saying some similar words about the ROI above (3 rentals vs. the $999 black tie package from SuitSupply), he had this to add:
"Yes, you may pull it out once a year, or every time you have an occasion to wear it, you pull it out and know you're gonna look good. I think it’s a worthy investment for any guy... they will find places to wear it because they have it!"
To the second, may I suggest that grooms offer the colorful bowtie and boutonniere to style for the event, but don’t cling to the ‘matchy groomsmen’ trend. The idea that wedding parties must be completely uniform is new and constructed. I will put on my tinfoil hat and contend that it is a conspiracy by “Big Wedding” to raise costs for what is already the costliest party of your life. In a society more obsessed with weddings than marriage, it seems to be working. So get a suit you can really have and hold all the days of your life. Don’t fall for the throwaway culture.
I will push past the irony of a late-20's bachelor mainsplaining wedding plans to the lovebirds of the world and ardently reiterate that you men who haven’t find or reclaim your own style.
It is not for the bride to dress the groom, nor for the wife to buy her husband’s clothes. Dress yourself. Learn how. Learn to enjoy it. Dressing well has manifold social advantages that significantly elevate your life.
Black tie is fortunately a very regimented dress code. The first advantage is that you and everyone else know exactly what to wear. Today, this can feel quite refreshing as especially younger men grasp for a sense of belonging and formality. When a wedding invite says “cocktail attire” you get everything from chinos and a button down to regular suits to wannabe-tuxedos. With black tie, all the pressure of “what to wear” is off. For men who claim to struggle color matching, be not afraid; surely you can handle mixing black and white!
Furthermore, you’re wearing a tried-and-true dress code that has been variously experimented on for a century. Black tie exploded in popularity during the 1920s and in many ways the standard of black tie has not changed. This means you can get away with a wide variety of styles within the dress code. A tuxedo from the 1930s won’t look too far out of place next to one you can get today.
If you need to educate yourself on the black tie dress code, I encourage you to root around in the Gentleman’s Gazette’s impeccable research on black-tie, even if their verbiage can be sanctimonious. I trust their research, and it would significantly lengthen this article if I tried to digest it here. Just pay attention- not all jackets are created equal, and there are many pitfalls to avoid in order to get a proper black tie ensemble that isn’t infected by elements of day suits such as notched lapels or pocket flaps.
Buying your own tuxedo will elevate you at formal events. The difference will be noticed. The general populace may be unfamiliar with formal dress codes, but they’re not blind.
There is a not wholly unfair criticism of the above that most modern viewers will have no idea what they’re looking at and therefore the bar of ‘well-dressed’ is quite low. This is fairly true, so use it to your advantage. The expectation that few men are well-dressed will contribute even more to your looking exceptional, the cardinal rule being of course that you don’t upstage the groom or host.
Grooms, I beg you to reconsider the matchy groomsmen trend. Prefer instead that your men look excellent individually and as a whole, despite not exactly matching. If you accomplish this shift in wedding culture, we’ll all look a lot better by spending our money on clothes that fit us and look great, rather than handing off hundreds to rental companies.
I encourage you to get your own tuxedo. Even if you feel you won’t wear it often, the formality warrants that you spend on it. If the ROI doesn’t convince you, think of the additional social benefit of being impressively dressed. Don’t cheap out on it; black tie only comes out for events worthy of its gravity. It is time to reclaim black tie and embrace the formality.