YOLO Revisited
You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” -Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 2.11
Everyone will die. You know not the day nor the hour. Memento Mori. Keep death always before you. Take the advice Marcus Aurelius gave in the subtitle above. He’s not the only ancient to suggest it. Seneca relates an anecdote about an eccentric Roman aristocrat, Pacuvius, who had a mock funeral for himself at the end of each day (Epistulae Morales ad Lucilium 12.8-9). That’s a little eccentric, but that anecdote has stuck with me for many years not least because of its sheer ridiculousness; no, because the sheer ridiculousness of the idea almost makes it reasonable. Pacuvius was practicing a flamboyant expression of living for the day. The wisdom in "Live each day as if it’s your last," is eternal. The key to it is that each day contributes one part to a well-lived life. This is distinct from "YOLO" wherein each day seeks to be per se an entire well lived life. A day is not a life. Stop expecting lifelong outcomes from single days, months, or even years. Instead, tenaciously invest each day in dearly won lifelong achievements whether you expect to die tomorrow or not.
Things you do in the short term will often feel patronizing or menial because they're setting up long-term payoff that is yet unrealized. This is a rare case where we become fully aware that the future doesn’t yet exist. It feels intangible at first to set the goal to get in shape in two years. My journey from a pudgy, weak boy to a well-built man who can pass military fitness tests took about four years. In hindsight, I couldn’t have achieved what I did without painstaking incremental investments. Each workout was worthwhile even if I had died the next morning. The struggle built up my physical body, changed my perspective on lifelong goals, and altered my mental-emotional health completely. Long term goals feel so harrowing because the payoff is far removed from all the effort. The struggle is having the iron resolve to endure in the fight through that mental noise. A successful earthly life takes determination and consistency, as much as the Christian life takes the same in a spiritual dimension.
God gives us will so that we may act! Not so that we may simply exist. Many things exist without will. Our will is what allows us to grow, shape our lives, and become more fully the active person we were created to be. Unless we direct our will with a pursuit of truth, service to others, and commitment to self-improvement, we can stray quickly from a life worth living:
“The more willful you are, the more dangerous it is to be undisciplined” -Paul Graham (via Founders Podcast).
Many willful people without such direction have wrought terrible lives and brought down the costs of their decisions on countless others. Only once the will is properly directed with eternal principles can it begin to build a fruitful life day by day. Action is only achieved by the grit of willpower. Our discipline to consistency makes those daily payments into a lifelong return.
One pitfall of willful determination is living in unrealized potentialities. This is when we ignore that the future doesn’t exist yet. Treat these as distractions to be avoided while you live life for today, but without closing the door on those potentialities. Don’t waste worry on what ‘could have been’ or ‘should have been’ or ‘where I could have gone’. One of my greatest worries a few years ago was providing for a family I didn’t have that I apparently created with a wife I didn’t have who all lived in a house I didn’t have. Why was I putting pressure on myself because I imagined myself a provider in the future? Those possibilities simply have not or did not become actualities. Forget them. Don’t make decisions for today based on a life that is exactly as you imagine it will be. Pursue the image of that life with a wide tolerance for variation and an open mind to opportunities that cross your path in the daily effort. We cannot imagine things that God has in store for us, simply because in our finitude we lack the imagination to see. God who sees all and knows all has an idea that we can’t imagine for ourselves, as Isaiah 43:19 promises:
“Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?”
Work toward goals every day without obsessing over the 5- and 10-year plan. Take one more step today.
We only live one life of our own. You indeed do only live once, but life is not about earth tourism or enjoying yourself. It’s about goodness, deep relationships, and pursuing God. Focus on the day’s work in all its mundane, honest struggle. End each day with a high note and reflect on the day’s humble achievement. If those things aren’t possible, go to bed. If you wake up, forget the day before and begin again with the same determination. Do this every day because you will eventually run out of chances and your book will be sealed. Be sure all those days amalgamate to something great. You don’t know the sum of your life’s work until it's over.